Three news pieces recently caught my eye, all indicative of the possibility that “The Anna Wintour Effect” is trickling down even to the lowest of people, criminals, infecting them with a greater fashion consciousness. Of course, that’s a blatant overstatement on my part. However, these serve as hilarious examples of the extent to which offenders will go in order to fulfill a variety of motives: disguise? surprise? a glamorous and memorable mug shot? Despite the unknown motive, these are all entertaining examples of fashion crime – both metaphorical and real.

Perpetrator #1: The Burger King Drag Queen

Now I found this first perpetrator to be particularly memorable not only because (s)he struck in my almost always quirky and strange hometown but also because the breaking story included crime specialist Howard Robinson providing one of the best quotes ever. He noted that “the thief is probably a genuine cross-dresser because his necklace matched the dress, his nails appeared to be painted and the wig was well made.” In this instance, I cannot help but channel the acuity of the ever-nostalgic Times-Picayune columnist Chris Rose, and acknowledge that this truly was an ‘Only in New Orleans’ moment.

Perpetrators #2: More New Orleanian transvestites!

Apparently Magazine St., a long block filled with boutiques and restaurants, has been pestered by roving gangs of local transvestites. According to the article, the pillaging transvestites will enter an upscale store in a pack of three or four, use their fierce and trendy selves to distract the retailers at work, and make off with hefty sums of expensive clothing. Comparing the looting to the post-Katrina madness, store owners have set up a “Drag Queen Alert List”, initiating detailed plans of action as soon as store owners sight that first muscular calf clad in strappy Manolos crossing the door threshold.

Perpetrators #3: Colorado “Thong Bandits”

Apparently the standard panty hose cover-ups of bandits have been deemed old-fashioned and out of style, as these criminals turn to more popular thong underwear for head protection. Typical of thong-coverage, both men’s faces were still discernible and they were easily caught after stashing cigarettes and cash into a pink backpack.

Now – from the victims perspective – Japanese designer takes “escapist fashion” far beyond what we ever imagined: “Fearing Crime, Japanese Wear the Hiding Place”. Let’s just hope these walking hiding spots don’t get into the wrong hands.